Are you willing to move for...

Steupz

Registered User
ah.. operative words "Better deal" .. and the question is the better deal for who?
No, the operative words are no impediment nor disadvantage.
Better deal, as I meant it is, moving compared to staying. Move always seems better if your career won't suffer or you don't have a visitation situation or a parent to look after... things like that.

But I see you and TC, it appears, are stuck on the gender. It all boils down to who asks, you know. The first to ask has the edge in my opinion. At that point you go through the list as to why that's not the better way.
 

ladyrastafari

Notchilous
i didnt say anything about gender.. so i can't see how you can opine that i'm stuck on something that i didn't mention.. if i'm already established in my job with years, my pension etc etc.. why would i move to canada for you to start over? no... you move here, since you will be starting anywhere you go... but under all the ole talk, that's really a decision for the two people to make, based on what they value, who is willing to take the L, better job opportunities etc etc...
 

Steupz

Registered User
i didnt say anything about gender.. so i can't see how you can opine that i'm stuck on something that i didn't mention.. if i'm already established in my job with years, my pension etc etc.. why would i move to canada for you to start over? no... you move here, since you will be starting anywhere you go... but under all the ole talk, that's really a decision for the two people to make, based on what they value, who is willing to take the L, better job opportunities etc etc...
I guessed. And I don't see your answer as that of a person in love.
I would think wanting to be with the person has much more weight than your answer suggests.
 

ladyrastafari

Notchilous
let's put it like this.. love does invoke martyrdom. At the end of the day, you have to make the decisions that are best for you...if the person you love wanted to go and live in war torn Burundi on some kinda humanitarian tip.... does that mean that you would say damn it I love you and pack up your life and move behind them? not necessarily.. you'd have to weigh the opportunity cost of moving to Burundi.. and if it's something you've always wanted to do... then do it... if not.. take a rain check.. it's nice to talk about these things but when you actually have to make those decisions it's a totally different matter altogether..
 

Steupz

Registered User
let's put it like this.. love does invoke martyrdom. At the end of the day, you have to make the decisions that are best for you...if the person you love wanted to go and live in war torn Burundi on some kinda humanitarian tip.... does that mean that you would say damn it I love you and pack up your life and move behind them? not necessarily.. you'd have to weigh the opportunity cost of moving to Burundi.. and if it's something you've always wanted to do... then do it... if not.. take a rain check.. it's nice to talk about these things but when you actually have to make those decisions it's a totally different matter altogether..
Let's keep it simple though, we're assuming good situations here (One person's money can take the load for more than a reasonable period, you're considering marriage.. blah blah). None of that war stuff.

You are suggesting moving is taking an L, for, among other reasons, pension/you're established. I'd think someone in love would see it as getting a W because you're with the person you love.
To me career only comes into play when your profession truly matters or you are at the pinnacle... if you are an oncologist or a member of Parliament or some shit. Other than things like that you can move. No person is going to ask you to move if they are in a worse off position. A man who's a janitor in Ottawa High School isn't going to ask his Doctor girlfriend from Trinidad to come to Canada unless she already has a position lined up/or leave she can use to get a position in Canada.
Similarly, I don't expect the janitor to say no to moving to Trinidad because he's in the system for 15 years and wants his full pension.
 

Minxy

New member
I am a Trinidadian livng and working in texas right now i have a guy that lives 280 miles round trip and every weekend he drives come to my job and i spend my off day at his home then he drives me back now he wants me to move to his home we been dating 8 months would i move or not I love my job give it up suppose i dont get another job and for him he accustom living alone loving someone and moving in with them I have to think about that a good long time and if it love i move in and if it not love i stay where I am.
dont do it :no2:
 

ladyrastafari

Notchilous
see that's the thing.. you aren't getting what i am saying.. one person may be further along in their life/career than the other, and one would ultimately be "taking a chance".. to me those situations work out best when the parties are engaged or married... you are making it seem that everybody in love wants to just uproot their life and move to oheeoho with the person they love because well they're in love... if one person love canada and want to live there and the other person doesnt or hates Canada and does not want to live there.. they either come to a compromise and move somewehre else or they part ways... there is no one-size-fits-all with these things... i could love you with all my heart steupz but if you say you want to move to Haiti and thats where we will live and bring up kids etc etc.. and i say naw... not with it.. and you insist that thats where its goign to be then i'mma have to dip.. if you agree to go soemwhere else then fine.. but the two parties must be in agreement .. because if not, resentment can creep in.. and all hell breaks loose.. and its better if BOTH parties move to a strange location..
 

Swollen

Players Play I Coach
Alyuh does do too much thinking into relationship...

1st you got to figure out what is love?

And what is building a family, is it innate?
 

DSP

Heri
I always believed if the best option is far away, it is still better than the convenient option close by. Sometimes even not moving works for both of them.
 

SKBai1991

Registered User
depends. I know alot of people who work in academia and got married in grad school to other grad students, thinking they would be able to make it work, only to find themselves either competing with their spouses for the same very small pool of jobs available, or being forced to take job offers in different states since they have loans and only spending 3-4 days a month together.

I know me personally, the only way I could move for love is if I was guaranteed a job in the new area at comparable pay, with a comparable standard of living in someplace civilised (I ain moving to no southwest, midwest, none of dem backwards Arizona SB1070 places dey).
 
Top