China Sees Increase in Families Mourning the Loss of their Only Child

femmeayitienne

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Regardless of the society in which one lives, the loss of a child to a tragic accident or illness creates can be devastating. In China in particular, such incidents are creating serious social problems, and it all has to do with the one child per family policy that was introduced in the late 70s.

The term “lost child households” has become widely used in China as the number of families that have lost their one and only offspring is on the rise. The loss of any child, regardless of the number of surviving siblings, is of course a horrendous experience for any family to endure, but in houses where all of the parents’ love, hopes and expectations are invested in just one child, their untimely death is understandably crippling. Couples suffering from the unfortunate loss of their child are now, on average, in their 50s; often all alone and without a bearing on how to pick up the pieces. In the near future, the amount of households experiencing this phenomenon is set to reach a staggering 10 million. The situation brings with it not just mental anguish but also the unavoidably large problem of just who will bear the burden of nursing the aged.

失独者3

China established the “one child policy” in 1979 and was brought about in part by a female laborer from Tianjin. She proclaimed that bringing up her only baby girl was more than enough and that “I don’t need a boy.” This saw the Chinese government introducing the restriction on child birth, and in 1980 marriage laws were even altered in a way so as to encourage later marriage and child birth. It was thought that by encouraging marriage in later life, the birth rate could also be reduced.

Now more than 30 years on, regions across China have seen policy enforced less stringently. However, when it comes to China’s cities, the situation remains very much unchanged. The policy is still thought to be necessary in what are admittedly densely populated areas of China. Nevertheless, although it has the benefit of bringing the population growth rate under control and thus improving the standard of living for many, it also has the undesirable side effect of creating some rather serious problems.

The main issue at hand here is that of the extreme imbalance in the male and female population, brought about by a rise in abortion rates of females. Additionally, the number of couples not registering their child due to it not being the desired sex is also prevalent. Pampering one’s child too much is also creating concerns. The result of which is the increasing number of “mothered” adults who lack social common sense and the ability to co-operate with those around them.

According to Chinese authorities, the number of households mourning the loss of their only child is increasing each year by 76,000. On the basis that the parents are in good health, the amount of couples estimated to go through the same experience in the future is an astounding 20 million.

Putting all of this into perspective, many couples can be seen to have loyally adhered to the Chinese government’s regime of putting off having a second child, only to lose the one child they loved so dearly.

失独者

In an example given in the recent survey, one Chinese couple wanted to give their child the best start in life by sending them off on a study abroad program to America. However, whilst abroad, the child was killed in a road accident. It is precisely during the Chinese New Year that the family finds the loss the most biting. They comment:

“It is at this time that neighbors are preparing for the homecoming of their children and busy shopping and getting ready. Year after year, all we can do is sit at home motionless.”

Returning to the problem of just who will look after these bereaved couples during old age, the Chinese government has begun to treat the issue more seriously and is now considering a counter-plan.

However, it remains unclear whether an effective plan will come into existence. The reason for this is that the Chinese government still remains hesitant about whether to withdraw the one child per household restriction or not; on the one hand decreasing birth rates continue to rise and the aging population is a problem, but an increase in population is just too much of a fear for the government to ignore. It looks like this particular type of family devastation could be around for some time unless attitudes about what is important are not reassessed. Needless to say an appeal to withdraw the “one child per family” restriction is being pushed more and more by many Chinese citizens concerned about what the future has in store for them.
 

jamaicangirl

Boonoonoonoos
I still can't believe that it is even a law. I know so many people from mainland China who are from One Child families and they never have anything good to say about it....
 

Wadadlineko

Registered User
Well China does execute a lot of people for all sorts of crimes. But yeah with a population of over 1 billion they need population control. Further its not like if they can't have more children. It just that the government will tax you for every child you have after the first one. Which is a real disincentive. However, what this causes is a whole imbalance in the population. Because just like in a lot of other Asian countries. Male children are favoured over female. So women would go and have an ultra sound done to determine the gender of the baby and then dash way the pickney once they hear its a girl. I saw a documentary about it. That how in some villages in China there are no females for men to marry and they have to resort to paying someone to kidnap a woman from a neighbouring province or neighbouring country just so that they can have a wife. Imagine that. In fact it has gotten so bad that the government in China in certain provinces are paying families to have more girl children and awarding them with all kind of furniture and so on if they have a girl child to help alleviate the male to female imbalance.
 

ladyrastafari

Notchilous
that is heights eh.. kidnapping women to have wives.. but yea i also heard that the more kids you have, they take away all the benefits you got for the first one and then they tax you for each subsequent child you have
 

Taj

Loyalty to Loyalty
Well China does execute a lot of people for all sorts of crimes. But yeah with a population of over 1 billion they need population control. Further its not like if they can't have more children. It just that the government will tax you for every child you have after the first one. Which is a real disincentive. However, what this causes is a whole imbalance in the population. Because just like in a lot of other Asian countries. Male children are favoured over female. So women would go and have an ultra sound done to determine the gender of the baby and then dash way the pickney once they hear its a girl. I saw a documentary about it. That how in some villages in China there are no females for men to marry and they have to resort to paying someone to kidnap a woman from a neighbouring province or neighbouring country just so that they can have a wife. Imagine that. In fact it has gotten so bad that the government in China in certain provinces are paying families to have more girl children and awarding them with all kind of furniture and so on if they have a girl child to help alleviate the male to female imbalance.
India too, its supposed to be against the law but the lil ultrasound shops are everywhere
 

Missmayling

Registered User
I still can't believe that it is even a law. I know so many people from mainland China who are from One Child families and they never have anything good to say about it....
I was told by Chinese that if you can afford to have more than one child, then you can. Also, the law does not apply to the Chinese ethnic minorities.
 

ladyrastafari

Notchilous
that correct. if you live in the rural areas you get permission to have more kids as they would be your farm hands.. but china serious about the disappearance thing.. and i heard that in your workplace they check you to see if you pregnant.. can you imagine your coworker monitoring your menstrual cycle??
 

Mrs. Campbell

Girl Crush
India too, its supposed to be against the law but the lil ultrasound shops are everywhere
You favoring boys over girls, yet end up with a village/town/city full of males...only to have to kidnap other ppl girl children.

No matter how you look at it, just dumb.
 

iPicong

New member
For as bright as dem people suppose to be they sure are dotish..........they own they world anyways so they good to go......anybody seen the program on their housing bubble last night
 

femmeayitienne

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Girl Shortage Leads to Wife Sharing, Rape and Trafficking in India

The practice of female infanticide in India is causing girls to be victimized either at birth, or later on in life when a shortage of marriageable girls is leaving women vulnerable to “wife sharing,” rape, and sex trafficking.

Reuter’s TrustLaw is reporting that social workers in India are sounding the alarm about the backlash from decades of aborting female babies in the deeply patriarchal culture of India. Especially in rural areas where the ratio of girls to boys is even more skewed than in the larger cities, there has been a rise in the number of rapes, human trafficking, and the emergence of “wife sharing” among brothers.

“We are already seeing the terrible impacts of falling numbers of females in some communities,” says Bhagyashri Dengle, executive director of children’s charity Plan India.

“We have to take this as a warning sign and we have to do something about it or we’ll have a situation where women will constantly be at risk of kidnap, rape and much, much worse.”

In one case, a woman named Munni came to the rural village of Baghpat years ago as a young bride, having no idea that she would be forced to have sex and bear children for her husband’s two brothers who could not find wives.

“My husband and his parents said I had to share myself with his brothers,” Munni told Nita Bahlla of TrustLaw. “They took me whenever they wanted — day or night. When I resisted, they beat me with anything at hand. . . . Sometimes they threw me out and made me sleep outside or they poured kerosene over me and burned me.”

Munni, who has three sons from her husband and his brothers, has not filed a police complaint because of the deep stigma attached to the victims of such crimes, which means there are probably many more women like her in the surrounding villages.

“In every village, there are at least five or six bachelors who can’t find a wife. In some, there are up to three or four unmarried men in one family. It’s a serious problem,” says Shri Chand, 75, a retired police constable.

“Everything is hush, hush. No one openly admits it, but we all know what is going on. Some families buy brides from other parts of the country, while others have one daughter-in-law living with many unwedded brothers.”

Even though female infanticide is illegal in India, and in spite of its enormous cultural ramifications, the practice is continuing. According to a May study published in the British medical journal Lancet, the country’s fetish for boys has resulted in the abortion of 12 million Indian girls over the last three decades — resulting in a skewed child sex ratio of 914 girls to every 1,000 boys in 2011 compared with 962 in 1981.

Those who survive often face a different kind of victimization while growing up. Social activists say more and more young school girls are being raped, abducted and even auctioned off in public to the highest bidder.

Sex trafficking is another horror that Indian women are too often subjected to. The story of Meena Khatun, who was sold into “sex slavery” at the age of 11, is an example of what some girls may be forced to live through. According to a 2007 article in The New York Times, Meena was kidnapped from her village in north India by a trafficker and brought to a 13-girl brothel in the town of Katihar. She was locked into a room with an elderly patron who had purchased her virginity. When he attempted to take it, she cried and fought so hard the owners of the brothel were called in to “teach her a lesson.”

”They beat me mercilessly, with a belt, sticks and iron rods,” Meena recalled.

Every night, she was forced to have sex with 10 to 25 customers. She was also “bred”, a common practice in India’s brothels where the prostitutes are made to produce boys to serve as laborers and girls to become prostitutes. Meena bore two children, a girl and boy, before she managed to escape. Although it took years, she was eventually able to get both of her children released from the brothel.

India has one of the highest child prostitution rates in the world and its brothels are known as the “slave plantations of the 21st century.”

Even though this kind of exploitation of women is illegal in India, crimes such as these go on and, in some areas, are even becoming acceptable because the victims are too afraid to speak up and neighbors don’t want to interfere. Some say the practice of brothers sharing a wife brings benefits such as avoiding the division of family land, and has freed poor families with daughters from having to pay substantial dowries to grooms’ families.

Women’s rights activists say breaking down these deep-rooted, age-old beliefs is a major challenge.

“The real solution is to empower girls and women in every way possible,” Neelam Singh, head of Vatsalya, an Indian NGO working on children’s and women’s issues, told TrustLaw.

“We need to provide them with access to education, healthcare and opportunities which will help them make decisions for themselves and stand up to those who seek to abuse or exploit them.”
 

DSP

Heri
Overpopulation is a myth, not a problem. Bad land management is the problem. The worlds population could fit in Maryland with room to run around. Packing up people in crowded cities is dumb like aborting female babies.
 

SKBai1991

Registered User
Overpopulation is a myth, not a problem. Bad land management is the problem. The worlds population could fit in Maryland with room to run around. Packing up people in crowded cities is dumb like aborting female babies.
that depends. Bad land management is a problem but bad resource management is an even bigger problem. With larger populations its way harder to manage resources effectively in order to give people an acceptable standard of living. Yeah, the whole world could fit in Maryland but even if that was the case, what kinda life would they be living.

With our population as it is, it would take about 2 planets worth of resources for everyone to have the standard of living of the average human living today...never mind the average american, who would need 4.5 planets to do so
 

Oneshot

where de crix
With our population as it is, it would take about 2 planets worth of resources for everyone to have the standard of living of the average human living today...never mind the average american, who would need 4.5 planets to do so
nah man.. we waste a lot of energy and water. easy example, burning oil to have A&C blazing in Saudi Arabia.
 

femmeayitienne

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You favoring boys over girls, yet end up with a village/town/city full of males...only to have to kidnap other ppl girl children.

No matter how you look at it, just dumb.
I honestly don't understand how the parents (especially in india) can't see how having a girl would be beneficial for them especially at this time.

The male's family will have to pay me a dowry!
 
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