How early to start protecting your child's online identity?

BacchanalDiva

Registered User
but it's not only job, it's people in your life too....it's almost like you have to justify and prove yourself to be a whole person, to people that made the CHOICE to use social media as the their biggest gauge of a person's identity....

i had a friend tell me once that i should project more positive things on fb because i come across looking a certain way, and she knows that i have another side that many people don't see.....and i told her, i post whatever is on my mind....nothing i do is deliberate and calculated....people that know me, know me....and those that don't...well if they use social media as a way to determine who they think i am then they are absolutely ridiculous...it gets rather frustrating, watching the people around you conform to the narrow box, and me having to fight to just be me and be real..because they are expecting me to conform to the narrow box like the rest of the world
This is exactly what I was referring to in a thread I believe you were in last week except I was talking about on forums but same thing. You choose what you feel like putting out there based on you mood at the moment not thinking that ppl see your choice as representative of who you are on a whole. If you post A, you must also think B and vote for C and worship D and bull E. And even those that you THINK know the real you, will take you surprise. Like in my example I was in shock cause this friend knows (or I thought knew) that only post light, frivolous stuff..I'm not the type to go on FB and post "OMG my friend is dying #cant stop the tears" or some mess like that.
 

BacchanalDiva

Registered User
Ironic thing is NONE of the people saying this think to simply pick up the phone and give you a call to see how you are indeed doing.
Too much like right..and of course it would make no sense if you can't get me on the cell to just call the land line # that all my friend have. when I asked that she said that when I wasn't posting on FB or answering the conversation thread that they included me in they just figured I needed to disconnect in order to cope.
 

BacchanalDiva

Registered User
the thing that killing me is how them know them things will even be around by the time their kid is old enough to use them... that kind of hyper vigilance is another level all by itself.. i remember one time one of my friends posted a pic of his daughter, playing and maybe she wasnt sitting properly... so i msg'd him and said hey, take that down.. so he say yea.. before he could even take it down, somebody come and post "she so sexy mm".. i was like :eek:.. what? who posts that type of comment on a child's pic?? well the father took the pic down with the quickness and blasted the fella who said that.. and possibly deleted him as well.. it was quite surreal
Sick ppl. As for hyper vigilance, I guess they figure google and gmail here to stay. But I do think it might be weird to be handed an envelope with that stuff...what if they give her Kate@gmail.com and she prefer katheleen@gmail.com or something like that. I think that's so personal.
 

BacchanalDiva

Registered User
LB....people are ridiculous...that is difficult for some people you know

hear this....i was talking to a male friend of mine...an ex so to speak.....i was telling him about the emotional turmoil i was going thru for the past year due to my divorce...you know what the man say to me

he say "i don't feel sorry for you, every time i look on your facebook page, you traveling somewhere or out somewhere having a good time"

he completely trivialized my emotional struggle, based on pics on facebook....meanwhile my statuses were coming off like angry rants (because that's what my female friends complained about and told me i should change) my female friends knew that even though i was STRUGGLING EMOTIONALLY, i still maintained positivity and was able to keep some good spirits and uplift them at the same time...but the dudes, and there were more than one only looked at my pics and assumed i was fine...and dismissed it when i told them that i really wasn't
SMH Good thing you didn't post pics w/ various male friends, he woulda said you bulling down the place so you can't be heartbroken.
 

BacchanalDiva

Registered User
You are damned if you do and damned if you don't.

If you are a person who despite whatever sh*t life throws you, you try to find the brighter side of things and simply find a positive way through all the murky dark crap going on, then you are "faking" it. Or you really aren't that bad off.

Now if you constantly complain and wring your hands online so to speak, not a damn soul wants to "read" that. But again, if they truly cared if you were indeed struggling given what they do know, how come they cant invite you out for coffee or just have a phone chat one on one?

People are multi-dimensional and can have to opposing feelings and emotions exist within in them at the same time. None of it makes you a liar or a hypocrite. but what you read in a 140 word sound bite is only going to provide so much depth into someone.

My friend's mum is dying of cancer. If she sees pass Christmas we will be lucky. She is terrified of dying mainly because she doesnt want to miss out on her younger grandkids growing up. But she is also at peace with it because of her faith. Now if you saw her on FB you'd never thing a thing is wrong with her. She looks great because all her life she has taken care of herself, so that is what has kept the cancer at bay and given her the time she now has.

But emotionally she is facing the end of her life. Who the hell wouldnt have a problem with that? You think that stops idiot ppl from saying "she cant be that sick, she just went to Vegas last weekend" She is trying to enjoy the last few months on earth that she has as best as she can because when she goes down hill it will be rapid. Doesnt stop dim wits from saying dotish things and hurting my friend and her family.

All you can do is shake your head that people like you said narrow their perceptions of the world around them and nuances of living and life simply go right out the window.



Anyhow, I find the article depressing. lol
And there is the simple and obvious truth that grown so called educated ppl can't seem to get.

Sorry about your friend's mom. This cancer thing man SMH
 

LB

Peace Love n Pretty Tings
Thanks BD. No one gets out of this earthly struggle alive I tell you.
 

NikkiGiovanni

Warrior Queen
You are damned if you do and damned if you don't.

If you are a person who despite whatever sh*t life throws you, you try to find the brighter side of things and simply find a positive way through all the murky dark crap going on, then you are "faking" it. Or you really aren't that bad off.

Now if you constantly complain and wring your hands online so to speak, not a damn soul wants to "read" that. But again, if they truly cared if you were indeed struggling given what they do know, how come they cant invite you out for coffee or just have a phone chat one on one?

People are multi-dimensional and can have to opposing feelings and emotions exist within in them at the same time. None of it makes you a liar or a hypocrite. but what you read in a 140 word sound bite is only going to provide so much depth into someone.

My friend's mum is dying of cancer. If she sees pass Christmas we will be lucky. She is terrified of dying mainly because she doesnt want to miss out on her younger grandkids growing up. But she is also at peace with it because of her faith. Now if you saw her on FB you'd never thing a thing is wrong with her. She looks great because all her life she has taken care of herself, so that is what has kept the cancer at bay and given her the time she now has.

But emotionally she is facing the end of her life. Who the hell wouldnt have a problem with that? You think that stops idiot ppl from saying "she cant be that sick, she just went to Vegas last weekend" She is trying to enjoy the last few months on earth that she has as best as she can because when she goes down hill it will be rapid. Doesnt stop dim wits from saying dotish things and hurting my friend and her family.

All you can do is shake your head that people like you said narrow their perceptions of the world around them and nuances of living and life simply go right out the window.



Anyhow, I find the article depressing. lol
you nuh see seh that's the first thing me seh....it really is

but as far as the rest of what you say....girl.....

my friend that just died of cancer, was posting updates on fb every so often of her progress....she was even posting pics of her in chemo and her in the hospital...asking people to pray for her ..she was also giving health advice and telling people what to watch out for etc....she was practically a fb spokesperson for women's health and awareness for cervical cancer....

can you believe that when she died, and her mother called other family members, they said they didn't think it was that serious

some people boy.....we literally watched her deteriorate, come back and get sick all over again on fb

people are CALLOUS

sorry about your friends mom
 

LB

Peace Love n Pretty Tings
^^ that is why I paraphrased you lol ^^

sorry for yours as well. Its not nice I tell you.

This one of the points I was trying to get at in my thread about the pyschology of lonliness. The strange disconnect we have with one another when it comes to trying to connect with one another through social media. I dont think its the medium...its us and how we manifest those unresolved things within ourselves through how we interact with FB, Twitter, Instagram, etc.

Your eyes used to be the windows into your soul...now it's your Twitter update in 140 words or less.
 

NikkiGiovanni

Warrior Queen
People are multi-dimensional and can have to opposing feelings and emotions exist within in them at the same time. None of it makes you a liar or a hypocrite. but what you read in a 140 word sound bite is only going to provide so much depth into someone.
words of wisdom here....see if i can get that in my sig

And there is the simple and obvious truth that grown so called educated ppl can't seem to get.
and that's what irks, depresses and frustrates me...sometimes i feel like i am living in an isolated parallel universe...because i refuse to dumb down my understanding of truth and reality
 

ladyrastafari

Notchilous
does everybody have a friend with cancer now? i find THAT a scary thing... my friend is battling leukeumia and i find it scary how this just came out of nowhere... and laid her out.... it really is true that tomorrow isnt promised
 

MÉCHANT LOUP

Cervical Cancer
I read the OP and a few of the first few post....

If an article has to make you aware of common sense, then you are bound to FAIL.
 

femmeayitienne

***//\\***
does everybody have a friend with cancer now? i find THAT a scary thing... my friend is battling leukeumia and i find it scary how this just came out of nowhere... and laid her out.... it really is true that tomorrow isnt promised
Since 2007 - I've had 2 college friends die from cancer and 2 dance mates diagnosed with cancer..

This is not even including the older people that I know.
 

femmeayitienne

***//\\***
In regards to the OP, over the past couple of years, I've had to keep a filter on FB. I don't put up as much pics and I'm much more selective about what i put up as my status.

Once I found out that people have FB stalked or investigated me, I made myself very familiar with security settings and I constantly updating it. I put very few things of relevance because people are nosy and what to know your business.
 
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