If You’re Happy, Then I’m Good…Maybe I’ll See You Next Lifetime…

agroDOLCE

SweetfuhDayz
A friend sent this blog post to me and a few others this AM.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwkward.

Have you seen the movie 10 Years? If not, what will follow are some spoilers of sorts. If you’ve never heard of it, then don’t sweat it and just continue reading.

It’s a 2011 movie that stars Channing Tatum and his wife (can’t remember her name) and a cast of folks you’d know by face if not by name and my boo, Rosario Dawson. It’s a movie about a 10 year high school reunion. Pretty simple premise. You’ve got the bully who wants to make amends even though its not really that genuine despite his protestations that it is. You’ve got the guys who never grew up; the wigger turned back white boy whose wife is agitated by his prior life as a Black kid trapped inside of a white kids body. You’ve got the now famous recording artists whose…well, no need to spoil it all. Point is, it’s a movie about a high school reunion.

Well the crux of the story is about Jake (Tatum) and Mary (Dawson). They’re both in committed relationships now and really both wanted to see one another even if Jake probably mostly only brought his woman assuming that Mary wouldn’t be there. Clearly, they’re high school exes who fell apart, not because of love but because of circumstance. Let me be upfront, I’m a sucker for movies like this. Any movie that has significant nostalgia, reflection, and realization is a win for me.

It’s clear that Jake and Mary still have “something” for one another even if they’ve both moved on. The love is still there, evidenced by the awkward hug they give one another. You ever notice that when you have any sort of feelings for somebody, hugs are awkward? That’s the best way to tell if somebody is feeling somebody else…the way they touch one another in the most innocent way possible. It’s poignant and telling.

Well, after they’ve effectively pissed off their significant others with tremendous awkwardness, to the point that both SOs excuse themselves from the festivities from the evening, they get the moments they needed.

The moments to know that the other is okay. They haven’t spoken in 8 years and likely never stopped thinking of one another the entire time. Hell, they admit to trying to find each other, something I’m sure we’ve all done and do with people we care about even if we don’t contact them any longer for various reasons. That’s made even easier with social networking – which neither of them has.

After the night comes to a close and everybody is leaving, neither is truly ready to leave until they get to have a short but necessary conversation where they catch up and find out if the other person is happy. They embrace. The thing that stands out to me about their situation is that its clear that they never stopped loving each other. They just had to move on.

Even Jake’s girlfriend has to ask before she drives off, “what happened? Why did you all break up?” because it’s clear that there’s a “there” there. And while neither is prepared to explore that “there” anymore, they still love one another. They have an entire world to themselves that nobody else can truly appreciate or understand short of their closest friends there at the reunion.

But in those final moments you can tell that they are two people who got the chance to make sure that the person they truly love…like that real palpable love, is cool. And that is needed to go on about life okay. Even if they never speak again…they got that satisfaction. In the most non-sensical parallel possible, its like when you have a insane sexual chemistry with somebody for so long that you just need to smash to get it out of your system…and when you all do, you can go on about life either as friends or as folks you never speak to again. Odd, but it makes total sense and I’m sure along side Miley Cyrus twerking right now, it is happening somewhere in America.

In the words of Anthony Hamilton, and the point of it all is this: I wonder if most of us have that person that we truly love even if there isn’t anything more that can come of it. Jake and Mary were completely innocent in their desires to reconnect. They just needed to know. I know I’ve had that person…and I know she’s good. We’ll always have the weirdest of connections, to the point where I’m not even sure I can explain it. So I don’t try. It’s unnecessary. I’m good. She’s good. And we’ll always be people who love one another and it goes no further than that. It’s not active love. It’s somewhere out there, somebody is thinking about me so I never have to worry about being a nobody. It’s mostly odd because for many of those situations it is offputting for significant others, and it seems more guilty than it is…but sometimes you just need a few moments alone just to know folks are okay. That’s love.

So…do you have that kind of person? Is it okay to have that kind of person if you’re in a relationship? If you do, how the hell did it come to pass like that? Or are you one of the fortunate people where the past is always the past for you….period?

What’s love?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka lower.case.p aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

anybody ever experience this? I watched "before sunset" last night and this article made me think of the movie.

If You’re Happy, Then I’m Good…Maybe I’ll See You Next Lifetime… | Very Smart Brothas
 

NikkiGiovanni

Warrior Queen
I think anyone that has truly loved would have someone like that.

I never understood how a person can break up and or lose contact with someone and say the past is the past. I think there is something wrong there. Any person that is LOVING would care about the well being of someone they claim to love.

Love and ego cannot coexist.
 

agroDOLCE

SweetfuhDayz
I say the past is the past, but it doesn't mean that I don't care (most times). I remember when this one guy and i ended things, I'd hit him up to say hi and make sure he was good, but I got a negative response. I think he thought that if i wasnt trying to deal with him, why should i speak to him at all. I explained to him that just because we no longer deal doesn't mean I didn't give a shyte. I get that some ppl just need a clean break though and I'm probably that way now that I think of it.
 

NikkiGiovanni

Warrior Queen
I say the past is the past, but it doesn't mean that I don't care (most times). I remember when this one guy and i ended things, I'd hit him up to say hi and make sure he was good, but I got a negative response. I think he thought that if i wasnt trying to deal with him, why should i speak to him at all. I explained to him that just because we no longer deal doesn't mean I didn't give a shyte. I get that some ppl just need a clean break though and I'm probably that way now that I think of it.
The reason why u got a negative responses was because his ego was bruised. And that prevented him from accepting the love and respect that u still wanted to show him.

Some people "love" very selfishly. They have an agenda that they want to meet and when its no longer being met, its a problem. If u truly love someone, u don't have to still be in a relationship in order to still show love and respect. Love should not be conditional on the type of relationship u have. U love regardless of the relationship.
 
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