Improper

LIONESS onda RISE

Registered User
k..

The mom of my childhood (bestie) died of cervical cancer not 3 months ago..she suffered for about 6 months b4 she died....this woman was really nice, stay at home, bake cookies all day typa woman. Ive seen her within the last few years becuase she is a substitute teacher at my kids school. (lost track of my bestie after shcool, she moved to St. Lucia)

So, this woman was married..i grew up with a feeling that these ppl..mother and step father were substitute parents to me.

we grew up in a very strict religious household and these ppl attended the congregation my family worshipped at.

So, we are all just now still dealing with her death (as my mom and this woman were still very close..and my mom was on the schedule to help her along with hospice toward the end)..im rambling cuz i cant keep a clear head..heres why..

IMAGINE...i found out that this man has announced his engagement!! he is getting MARRIED in 3 mos time..after your wife of 30+ years been in the ground less than 3 mos?

it gets worse!!

my besties parents, my parents were very close..along with another couple..(who divorced few years back)..Can you know and imagine he is marrying the "other" freind in this circle of "frends" HOW TEH F*CK YOU GO MARRY YOUR DEAD FREIND HUSBAND 3 mos after she dies..move in HER HOUSE? sleep in HER BED?

is it me? i mean, vows do say "till death do us part"..but im having a real hard time with this

*i prolly will delete this later, but give me your idea.*(.and i dont think anything going on between prior to his wife death)..so plese base your answers on that
 

Mrs. Campbell

Girl Crush
He was mashin up she speaka box long time, that aint no just flush relationship.

Something similar happened with my favoristest tanty. She had a friend and her friend and husband would come up in the country and spend the day with my aunt and uncle. Well the wife passed away and it wasn't to long after he brought his lady friend to spend the day like how him and his wife used to do.


P.S. - This was in Trini.
 

iPicong

New member
thats my uncle cousin brother nephew......but anyways.....they had that planned a while now......thats normal thing.....dude on my job wife died of cancer too and he was re-married few months later.....its cheaper to keep her (until death do us part)
 

femmeayitienne

***//\\***
wow that's tough.

is it possible that they were of great comfort to each other in their time of mourning and "fell in love'?
 

LIONESS onda RISE

Registered User
okk guys..but just WHAT IF, just what if...it wasnt nothing till just now, after she died? what den, how can this be explained if that is the case?

BTW..my mother is devestated!!
 

femmeayitienne

***//\\***
okk guys..but just WHAT IF, just what if...it wasnt nothing till just now, after she died? what den, how can this be explained if that is the case?

BTW..my mother is devestated!!
Even though it seems quick, if you consider the fact that they were already friends -- that may have sped up the process a bit.
 

LIONESS onda RISE

Registered User
wow that's tough.

is it possible that they were of great comfort to each other in their time of mourning and "fell in love'?
thats what i say...they took turns taking care of her while sick..(this woman and my mom) untill recently, mom and the lady wouldtake turns and carry him food,,check in on him and what not....

but i mean, her grave still turned...

im mad at the other "church" members, elders, leaders...that would allow them to get married in the house of worship without considering the feelings of the congregation who are still in shock since the funeral and still misses thier "sister" in faith
 

femmeayitienne

***//\\***
thats what i say...they took turns taking care of her while sick..(this woman and my mom) untill recently, mom and the lady wouldtake turns and carry him food,,check in on him and what not....

but i mean, her grave still turned...

im mad at the other "church" members, elders, leaders...that would allow them to get married in the house of worship without considering the feelings of the congregation who are still in shock since the funeral and still misses thier "sister" in faith
Is it their place to do that though?
 

Alpha Unit

Insurgent
Seems like dem had something goin on an an understanding that once the lady pass dey go move forward. It might be weird but I wonder if the wife may have given blessing before she died. People do strange things so yuh never kno eh. Now while it seem quick if he went out and meet a new woman or somebody introduce him to one and dey develop something an fast track down de isle it might also seem "impropper." The vows say til death do us part and she has passed on so he is free to do whatever whether anyone likes it or not. Maybe the man doh wanta be lonely.
 

Minxy

New member
Same thing happened to a childhood friend of mine...turned out that the dad has been having an affair for a while...BUT...if this was something new...30 yrs is a long time to be married...I think u can fall in love in 3mths, maybe he just likes being married, or they are old school and think they should marry...allyuh need to low the man, his wife is gone and fully understands that he is not
 

LIONESS onda RISE

Registered User
Is it their place to do that though?
maybe not..but all these ppl attend the same place of worship better den 30+ years..since i was a small child! same ministers, elders...i mean, she (dead wife) was VERY ACTIVE in thier congregation and he..(insensitive husband)..is an Elder,..minster..it just seems sooooo nasty!...

Seems like dem had something goin on an an understanding that once the lady pass dey go move forward. It might be weird but I wonder if the wife may have given blessing before she died. People do strange things so yuh never kno eh. Now while it seem quick if he went out and meet a new woman or somebody introduce him to one and dey develop something an fast track down de isle it might also seem "impropper." The vows say til death do us part and she has passed on so he is free to do whatever whether anyone likes it or not. Maybe the man doh wanta be lonely.
hmmm....my mind cant wrap around that they had something all along..im just unable to think that way about these ppl...

i think he is lonely and confused. his wife was a wonderfull lady, very calm, mild tempered..this "other one"..ummm,,,,...not so! he and his wife were very close! and now she going to get married... i think he gonna wake up one day...maybe a year from now when he get his mind right and realize..not that easy to replace a wife.

and...what about thier kids? who grew up together as we all did..this is just crazy situation to me


im SOOOOOO angry!
 

Alpha Unit

Insurgent
Same thing happened to a childhood friend of mine...turned out that the dad has been having an affair for a while...BUT...if this was something new...30 yrs is a long time to be married...I think u can fall in love in 3mths, maybe he just likes being married, or they are old school and think they should marry...allyuh need to low the man, his wife is gone and fully understands that he is not
Daz de odda ting too eh. Honestly if I dead today or tomorrow an my wife could find stability and comfort in another relationship I more dan glad. Dead people cah ha no ego so ah doubt de wife rollin ova sayin dat dam nastiniss ah go haunt dem fockaz till dey dead!!
 

LIONESS onda RISE

Registered User
Same thing happened to a childhood friend of mine...turned out that the dad has been having an affair for a while...BUT...if this was something new...30 yrs is a long time to be married...I think u can fall in love in 3mths, maybe he just likes being married, or they are old school and think they should marry...allyuh need to low the man, his wife is gone and fully understands that he is not
his wife is gone..just 2 months? and you are engaged..bout to take another woman to her house..in the same room she died? and this woman is a gooooooood freind of your dead wife?

im sorry...*sigh*
 

LIONESS onda RISE

Registered User
Daz de odda ting too eh. Honestly if I dead today or tomorrow an my wife could find stability and comfort in another relationship I more dan glad. Dead people cah ha no ego so ah doubt de wife rollin ova sayin dat dam nastiniss ah go haunt dem fockaz till dey dead!!
but 2 months? how you think your kids would feel about that?

what person can move on after losing a spouse in less den 3 mos?..making wedding plans? thats a bit much..IMO
 

Alpha Unit

Insurgent
his wife is gone..just 2 months? and you are engaged..bout to take another woman to her house..in the same room she died? and this woman is a gooooooood freind of your dead wife?

im sorry...*sigh*
I understand you are emotionally attached to the situation, but that man has every right to do as he pleases. His chioce in this matter (though easier said than done) should not affect you they way it is doing. Stop thinking about what you feel and think of the gaping hole that this man maybe attempting to fill in his life. After having a companion 30+ years I doubt its easy to be alone in solitude having to think about and miss his wife. Cut him some slack.
 
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