Is jealousy a sign of love, attachment, dependency???

Minxy

New member
If you believe that there are people who are naturally like that, how can you also believe that it's because of some past experience?
its funny because i am reeeeeeeeeally affectionate, very touchy feely...but i always have best friends who are not...to the point of um Minx, can u back up off me a lil..until i break them and they get used to it, at least from me...they are naturally unaffectionate, but its based on the lack of affection that they received as a child...
 

Alpha Unit

Insurgent
Minx that is only part of the definition that you are addressing though, and it isn't the one that Poca has raised this thread to discuss.
 

Poca

Registered User
Them being different from you may not be because they didn't receive enough affection while growing up. Maybe they adapted to you and accepted up whole you felt it was better to impose your overly affectionate self on them.


Also, being overly affectionate and touchy feely can also be from lack of affection when growing up. Just like it can be a reproduction of how one was raised. So you cannot really draw conclusions like that.

Also, keep in mind that affection can be displayed in different ways and not only by hugs and kisses.


its funny because i am reeeeeeeeeally affectionate, very touchy feely...but i always have best friends who are not...to the point of um Minx, can u back up off me a lil..until i break them and they get used to it, at least from me...they are naturally unaffectionate, but its based on the lack of affection that they received as a child...
 

ladyrastafari

Notchilous
yes, thats why i said, its natural to be a bit possessive...jealousy and envy i think of as being jealous or envious OF someone or something that someone has... i don't care if a chic stole mine right out from under me, i wouldn't be jealous or envious of her...it just is what it is..but my possessiveness or insecurities would prolly try to PREVENT her from invading my space, as i like to call it...i couldn't see myself idly sitting by watching the show, unless he is entertaining it of course
the thing is.. that interaction has little to do with you, because if your man went off with her, then he chose to do that.. you couldn't prevent her from invading anything if he wanted to go with her or entertain her... he isnt your puppet that you can make stop doing anything...maybe you see it this way bcause it might be cultural.. i mean you are Indian.. it may or may not be learned behaviour.. i cant say
 

ladyrastafari

Notchilous
its funny because i am reeeeeeeeeally affectionate, very touchy feely...but i always have best friends who are not...to the point of um Minx, can u back up off me a lil..until i break them and they get used to it, at least from me...they are naturally unaffectionate, but its based on the lack of affection that they received as a child...

not necessarily.. i think that people who are "really affectionate" to the point that people have to tell them to back up off them, may have a problem with boundaries.. as you should be aware of how others interact and their defn of personal space.. i am not a person that needs to touch to communicate.. i can be very affectionate with others but i dont feel the need to touch them, why? its just not my thing.. my parents are affectionate, but i just prefer a freer method of communication..
 

ladyrastafari

Notchilous
Them being different from you may not be because they didn't receive enough affection while growing up. Maybe they adapted to you and accepted up whole you felt it was better to impose your overly affectionate self on them.


Also, being overly affectionate and touchy feely can also be from lack of affection when growing up. Just like it can be a reproduction of how one was raised. So you cannot really draw conclusions like that.

Also, keep in mind that affection can be displayed in different ways and not only by hugs and kisses.
i totally agree with the bolded
because you might be needy for that touch, cos you crave it..
 

Poca

Registered User
That is something that doesn't bother me at all. People will always show their interest.

annoying ur wife with advances when they kno u are there and are her husband



i don't like the word jealousy...i think its a cop out, or arrogant to say smaddy jealous of u...i mean really? :no2:
 

BacchanalDiva

Registered User
Jealousy and possessiveness have absolutely nothing to do with love or attachment. They're human emotions that just are and don't always make sense..ppl can feel them over ppl that they are neither in love with nor attached to. Example..the guy that been running you down and professing his love and you're not interested in him as anything more than a friend, maybe even fwb but it ends there. Now he has a g/f and stops running yuh down and somewhere in the pit of yuh belly yuh feeling a lil something.

Humans are naturally territorial and possessive and it has nothing to do with love...and its ok and normal...unless it makes you act a fool. Control of base urges and emotions is the only thing that makes us civilized :kicks
 

Minxy

New member
Them being different from you may not be because they didn't receive enough affection while growing up. Maybe they adapted to you and accepted up whole you felt it was better to impose your overly affectionate self on them.


Also, being overly affectionate and touchy feely can also be from lack of affection when growing up. Just like it can be a reproduction of how one was raised. So you cannot really draw conclusions like that.

Also, keep in mind that affection can be displayed in different ways and not only by hugs and kisses.
not necessarily.. i think that people who are "really affectionate" to the point that people have to tell them to back up off them, may have a problem with boundaries.. as you should be aware of how others interact and their defn of personal space.. i am not a person that needs to touch to communicate.. i can be very affectionate with others but i dont feel the need to touch them, why? its just not my thing.. my parents are affectionate, but i just prefer a freer method of communication..
omg, i do it on purpose..but allyuh ga head with that :kicks

the thing is.. that interaction has little to do with you, because if your man went off with her, then he chose to do that.. you couldn't prevent her from invading anything if he wanted to go with her or entertain her... he isnt your puppet that you can make stop doing anything...maybe you see it this way bcause it might be cultural.. i mean you are Indian.. it may or may not be learned behaviour.. i cant say
right, that why i asked BB if someone was annoying his wife with advances...if it is welcomed, than have it at
 

Minxy

New member
Jealousy and possessiveness have absolutely nothing to do with love or attachment. They're human emotions that just are and don't always make sense..ppl can feel them over ppl that they are neither in love with nor attached to. Example..the guy that been running you down and professing his love and you're not interested in him as anything more than a friend, maybe even fwb but it ends there. Now he has a g/f and stops running yuh down and somewhere in the pit of yuh belly yuh feeling a lil something.

Humans are naturally territorial and possessive and it has nothing to do with love...and its ok and normal...unless it makes you act a fool. Control of base urges and emotions is the only thing that makes us civilized :kicks
the part in red is if ur attention seeking...women do that alot...but what else are u territorial about, other than something or someone u love?
 

BacchanalDiva

Registered User
the part in red is if ur attention seeking...women do that alot...but what else are u territorial about, other than something or someone u love?
Its not about attention seeking, its the fact that in that example he was yours in a sense..his efforts were devoted to winning you over even though you knew he didn't have a chance. Its like he may be a pest but he's your pest but now he belongs to someone else. That's human nature and ok as long as I said, you can recognize it for what it is and act accordingly. The whole example is to show that you DON'T have to love something in order to feel territorial about. Comes like a kid that has a toy they never play with...let another child come over and show interest in the toy, now all of a sudden the child is like "MINE".
 

ladyrastafari

Notchilous
what your doing it on purpose have to do wtih anything? to me it'd still mean you might have issues with boundaries.. if i hav to tell you back up off me..
 

BacchanalDiva

Registered User
what your doing it on purpose have to do wtih anything? to me it'd still mean you might have issues with boundaries.. if i hav to tell you back up off me..
Why I just have a visual of you and Minx meeting, her throwing her arms around you and you grumbling bout back up off you..and the vision crack me up..I need out of this place :kicks
 

Poca

Registered User
But, why do you keep doing something that you know annoys your best friends? What's the point?

omg, i do it on purpose..but allyuh ga head with that :kicks



right, that why i asked BB if someone was annoying his wife with advances...if it is welcomed, than have it at
 

Minxy

New member
Its not about attention seeking, its the fact that in that example he was yours in a sense..his efforts were devoted to winning you over even though you knew he didn't have a chance. Its like he may be a pest but he's your pest but now he belongs to someone else. That's human nature and ok as long as I said, you can recognize it for what it is and act accordingly. The whole example is to show that you DON'T have to love something in order to feel territorial about. Comes like a kid that has a toy they never play with...let another child come over and show interest in the toy, now all of a sudden the child is like "MINE".
yes, that is EXACTLY what they do...i could never, so meh cya relate, u zeeit ;)

what your doing it on purpose have to do wtih anything? to me it'd still mean you might have issues with boundaries.. if i hav to tell you back up off me..
oh please gweh and tap watch meh...i said they are my BEST friends...geez, u always reeeeeeeeeeeeaching...ima grown ass woman, i know how to act accordingly mmmmmmmkay...
 

Minxy

New member
Why I just have a visual of you and Minx meeting, her throwing her arms around you and you grumbling bout back up off you..and the vision crack me up..I need out of this place :kicks
that would NEVER ever ever ever, happen :no2:

But, why do you keep doing something that you know annoys your best friends? What's the point?
because i love them and errybody needs a lil love in they life...did y'all not see the best friend part? If it was that bad and they were that bothered, why come around me?? duuuuuuuuuuuuhh :rolleyes:
 

femmeayitienne

***//\\***
One of my good friends is like that. Touch feely and her sense of acceptable spacial proximity is way different than mine lol.

We both adjusted to each other. I'm not an overly touchy person - and it has nothing to do with how I feel about people because that's just how I am in general. I realize that she is so with me because we are friends. So I had to consciously not step back when she steps in closer to me because I don't want her to think that I'm shunning her.

BUT I had to tell her to that she needs to fall back a little bit though. We don't need to be that close to talk lol.
 

ladyrastafari

Notchilous
Why I just have a visual of you and Minx meeting, her throwing her arms around you and you grumbling bout back up off you..and the vision crack me up..I need out of this place :kicks
i nuh really into pets :kicks


my friends not into the dotishness... a hug if you now seeing me after a long time is fine..b ut constantly touching me, esp if i say doh do it? na.. u looking to get barked on lol
 

Poca

Registered User
Ok minx...

Anyway, I was asking because based on my discussion yesterday it was as if not having jealousy feelings is an indicator that someone is not really attached or does not really care about the relationship.
 
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