Ladies: You're Not as Good as You Think


Peace Love n Pretty Tings
----this gave me a chuckle-----

On the spectrum of male lovers, I believe I would fall somewhere between "not totally unpleasant, but not totally pleasant, either" and "adequate." I have a lothario friend, well endowed and blessed with an almost sociopathic stamina, and I know the women who crowd around his door like cats leave more satisfied than I've left women even in my dreams. I know that because I've literally heard the words "Let's get this over with." :russian_r

And yet I can still say with confidence that there are women who are worse in the sack than me. I've slept with you: unenthusiastic, uncomfortable, and uncommunicative, the human equivalent of the space between the couch cushions, only without the bonus possibility of my finding loose change in there. That's only natural, of course. There is a spectrum of female lovers just as there is of men. The trouble is, most women act as though they're sexual Olympians, as though they're doing the men in their lives the greatest of favors merely by presenting themselves like a downed deer strapped to the hood of a car. Some of you are deluding yourselves. Sex is not like pizza. Only blowjobs are. :rofl:

Pro tip: The crush-grind is not the new up and down. Also: If your man goes down on you, the terror clamp is an inappropriate physical response. (Just relax. :kicks
Yes, we make our stupid jokes, but contrary to popular belief, most guys enjoy cunnilingus, and most vaginas don't smell like a fresh bag of Funyuns.) I knew one poor girl who wouldn't have sex from behind because she thought that meant anal. Like, maybe grab a mirror and spend some time learning how your own body works. It's nice, too, when you don't treat our semen like it's battery acid. :rofl:

The bottom line is that if your sex life is bad, you bear at least some of the blame — maybe even an entire half of it. Do you want better, more satisfying sex? Tell your eager man what you'd like him to do to you. And don't be afraid to let it all out. You're not a slut if you like sex. The freaks are the frigid ones who confuse their vaginas with their anuses.

Read more: Women Who Are Bad in Bed - Ladies, You're Not as Good as You Think - Esquire