Shouting out single mothers on Father's day.. what say you?

EloquenceInc

Get your passport & come !
Based ont the cards shown "to my mom " there iexists a market where children have the choice to show love to their mom on any cccasion they chose.....

And I would imagine most momswold accept in love.....
I would imagine then most moms are not too bright attention whores...who instead should use the opportunity to educate the child in an age-appropriate fashion of what father's day IS ACTUALLY ABOUT and why it's not the day to give her a card.

Man please.

These people trying to brainwash people pickney into thinking men are unnecessary.
 

ladyrastafari

Notchilous
here's an interesting article.. from a man.. who was raised by a single mother..

I couldn't help but notice that Hallmark has issued a Father's Day card for black women. I'll admit to being taken aback by the sheer thoughtlessness of this endeavor, while studying the image of the strong and defiant black woman standing on the cover of the card, taking pride in the fact that she's holding it down while those "trifling ass negroes" are out there doing only God-knows-what. From what's been reported, these "Happy Father's Day Mom" cards are used mostly for the Mahogany line at Hallmark, which focuses on the African American community -- it appears that someone has been doing their demographic research.

The card made me think about my daughters, who don't need yet another image, song or slogan that makes them look forward to becoming somebody's baby's mama, without giving a second thought to doing the hard work necessary to create a stable and sustainable family structure (we also had long conversations when Fantasia's Baby Mama theme song came out a few years ago). Anyone who's spent time in urban communities realizes that there is a powerful trend of young people having children without thinking about the fact that two parents should be raising a child together. One girl I mentor in "the hood," who had several aunts working as single moms, actually asked me, "Do you know anybody who's married? I don't know anybody who gets married."

My biological father ran for the hills when I was a baby, but my mother never gloated over the fact that he was gone or acted as if he was irrelevant. During World War II, when white men were off fighting for their country, Hallmark didn't create a Father's Day card for white women. While millions of single black mothers do a wonderful job of raising their children, the last thing we need to do is institutionalize and immortalize the crisis of the black family in America.

I'm not sure who runs the Racial Decision-Making Department at Hallmark, but this is certainly a decision that should be reconsidered. Black women are already painted by America to be aggressive, hyper-masculine creatures who are unable to create productive families. Black men are portrayed as shiftless, lazy buffoons who sprint in the other direction at any sign of accountability. While both of these stereotypes hold true in too many contexts, we must exalt those who seek out a higher purpose and keep our families together.

Memo to Hallmark: Father's Day is a holiday for fathers. A father is defined by Webster's Dictionary to be "A man who has begotten a child." It is not defined as "The woman who raises the child when there is no man around." As a father myself, I am offended that Hallmark would simply write black dads out of the equation and hand the family penis over to the mother. Sure, the mother's hard work should be celebrated, but perhaps this company can still engage in its standard corporate opportunism by creating a separate holiday that focuses on single mothers of all racial backgrounds, and not just hijack a holiday that is meant for men who care about their kids -- that would be like me turning Hanukkah into Christmas Part II because I never had the chance to be Jewish.

The problem of fatherlessness in black America is not simply some cultural phenomenon that black people suddenly and inexplicably decided to embrace. Half a century ago, most fathers were present in the homes of their children. The dramatic increase in fatherless homes is directly related to the joint crises of mass incarceration and unemployment that have hit the black community like Hurricane Katrina, making it difficult for many men to provide for their families -- these conditions bred a set of cultural norms in which we were all somewhat complicit in accepting the status quo, rather than fighting the systemic obstacles that led to the demise of our community. Individual behavior serves to perpetuate the crisis, but structural factors created conditions that fueled unhealthy coping mechanisms -- the same way that Michael Vick's puppies might have chosen to kill one another, but they'd have never learned to kill had they not been locked in cages, starved and forced to fight one another for survival.

Economic struggles are no excuse for not being there for your children (as I expressed in my Father's Day article), but we must also realize that many young men today are being raised without a father to show them the responsibilities of being a dad, and many young girls are being raised to believe that you can and should do everything on your own without dealing with a man or a relationship. So, while personal irresponsibility certainly plays a role in the lack of fathers in the home, we can also point to broader institutional constructs such as the prison industrial complex (and even Hallmark's perceived celebration of the missing black father) as prominent factors in this sad state of affairs.

While the loyalties of black mothers to their children is nothing short of heroic, we must get away from buying into the notion that black men are subhuman animals who love their children less than white men do. Millions of black dads like myself, as well as the mothers of our children, are offended by the idea of writing the father out of the equation altogether, as if we aren't meant to exist. Also, there are fathers who don't have the opportunity to be in the home with their children who don't enjoy having their role minimized by having to give away equity in a special day that was designed for them.

Hallmark's decision to create a Father's Day card for black women engages in the act of celebrating a dysfunction, increasing the likelihood that the dysfunction eventually becomes as acceptable as the normal state of affairs. Suddenly, in the minds of some, it's cooler to be a single black mom than to be a married mother raising her children with a partner - I want my girls to plan their families with a higher purpose in mind, and Hallmark isn't helping with that endeavor.
Dr. Boyce Watkins: Hallmark's Father's Day Card for Black Mothers: Way Off Base
 

EloquenceInc

Get your passport & come !
yes.. and i'm sure that is the truth. but also by that token, this means that single motherhood is so widespread that children are forced to give their mothers cards on FATHER"s Day.. and this card is produced by Mahogany.. a card company traditionally marketed to African Americans.....look at this discussion.. (read the comments)

Hallmark “Mahogany” Father’s Day Card For Mother’s Sparks Debate | Bossip
It is very widespread...but apparently moreso in the black communities than the white/asian/hispanic/native american since we see no cards directed to their single mothers...

It also is not an intelligent nor smart move for another glaring reason: it is yet one more announcement in living colour on how black men in this country have dropped the ball.

Whether one agrees with that statement or not, that is the fact being put out there by the fact that a for-profit company sees an actual market for cards like this.

These are the subtle unspoken signs that tells an observer things aren't getting better with the black men if this is what it come to. No I'm not saying anything else, I am saying that is what THIS is saying...if you accept the face of the coin, you accept the flip side of that same coin.

Are the men going to really support that and basically diss their own selves for the world to see?

Guess we'll find out...if they don't have a big outcry like a million man march against that and show them where the black fathers that aren't sick, dead, or dying are...then might as well I hush and let the cards roll off the presses, cause if the men don't care about their own image why should I...
 

ladyrastafari

Notchilous
^This.

and...mahogany's new little trick with those cards is the type of thing that forever makes black people in general get looked at as an unintelligent underclass...why don't the creative heads behind those tasteless cards know to let certain situations just pass without the trumpets and the neon lights? There are VARIOUS reasons why a woman can end up a single mother, none of it means pretend like it's a glorious thing for a child to be without a father.

No wonder the dyke dem start mek di pickney dem call dem daddy. My bad, there's a card for them too! smh
wait.. that last line? there's a card for kids to call lesbians daddy??..... browni tell me u are joking
 

Lucianite

Registered User
Well this shows there is a "debate". And presents both sides.... And the article says that the same cards are also marketed to non African Americans .....

I do not think the card promotes single motherhood or causes the issues associated with it..... We are sidetracked by a card for one occasion and not dealing with the problem but the symptom
 

EloquenceInc

Get your passport & come !
here's an interesting article.. from a man.. who was raised by a single mother..



Dr. Boyce Watkins: Hallmark's Father's Day Card for Black Mothers: Way Off Base
I LOVE this!

And I JUST pointed out something similar to this statement before I even saw his article:
During World War II, when white men were off fighting for their country, Hallmark didn't create a Father's Day card for white women. While millions of single black mothers do a wonderful job of raising their children, the last thing we need to do is institutionalize and immortalize the crisis of the black family in America.
And LMAO at handing the family penis over...same suh...

I really have to post this on my fb...it vex mi yuh si man...they don't realize what they are doing to the various communities on a whole when they let this psychology settle like a cloud of smog over everything...
 

ladyrastafari

Notchilous
nobody said the card promotes single motherhood, but you cannot with all good conscience say it doesnt normalize it and make it now acceptable in some ways as now there's a market for it.. if one industry can capitalize on this, what's to stop others from following suit?... and i'm not discussing the phenomenon of single motherhood in general.. dont try to broaden and sweep it with a wide brush.. i'm speaking about celebrating single mothers on fathers day as opposed to simply doing so for the day that celebrats motherhood..
 

EloquenceInc

Get your passport & come !
wait.. that last line? there's a card for kids to call lesbians daddy??..... browni tell me u are joking
Those same cards...if you think about it...work wonderfully to hand to the "male" in such a couple.

I have never seen such a card specifically but trust you me if this has arrived the next step not far behind.

I wish you were joking about these Mahogany cards.

I never bought their darn cards anyway. True sentiments don't need a colour...they rarely even need a picture of anyone on them much less...the sentiment suppose to be universal.
 

Lucianite

Registered User
I usually like what dr Joyce bookings writes....... And notice he challenges hallmark decision not so much the "single mothers". And he speaks of institutional racism....
 

ladyrastafari

Notchilous
@browni.. yea i dont care for their cards too much.. its very rare that i would buy a mahagony card.. something about them just almost tries too hard.. they're good for sympathy cards though

@lucianite. i'm trying to thread together what you're saying.. yea he did mention all this other stuff.. but he also said exactly what i said.. lol.. so wat you saying
 

Lucianite

Registered User
@browni.. yea i dont care for their cards too much.. its very rare that i would buy a mahagony card.. something about them just almost tries too hard.. they're good for sympathy cards though

@lucianite. i'm trying to thread together what you're saying.. yea he did mention all this other stuff.. but he also said exactly what i said.. lol.. so wat you saying
I don't know about exactly what you said.... He addressed several things I did not read from here ... Nonetheless I have no issue with agreeing with you. Boykins focus is more on challenging hallmark and I would not stand in the way of challenging hallmark.....

So I will concede to your point
 

Lucianite

Registered User
I would imagine then most moms are not too bright attention whores...who instead should use the opportunity to educate the child in an age-appropriate fashion of what father's day IS ACTUALLY ABOUT and why it's not the day to give her a .
These are the type of comments about single mothers I was responding to and are not in boykins essay.....
 
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