Ways to be a better spouse

Poca

Registered User
30 Ways To Be A More Compassionate Spouse

1. Let go of expectations and compassionately accept what happens spontaneously.

2. Stop asking, "What's wrong?" Compassion doesn’t mean something has to be wrong. Instead ask, "What do you need from me in this moment?"

3. Crappy days happen. Accept them, embrace them, and be there for your partner when they have one. Caveat alert: Make sure they actually need your compassion in that moment, otherwise you might just end up annoying them!

4. Don't get stuck in stereotypical replay. Nothing's worse than the standard, "So sorry for your loss," or "Man, that sucks." Get out of the habit of saying what you've heard a million times.

5. Ask your partner what compassion means to them. Just as you communicate about sexual desires, you should communicate about compassion: "A little to the left, please!"

6. Your needs versus theirs. This is the assumptive "compassion" rule. Just because your definition of compassion is "X", doesn't mean it's theirs.

7. No emotion required: Some people emote compassion with emotions, but others don't -- so don't feel the need to be a sobbing mess!

8. The power of touch does wonders. Touch your partner, and let him or her feel your presence without saying a word.

9. And on that note: Listen up and shut up. Oh, we humans have to have our voices heard, but being compassionate is about being there for someone else.

10. Admit you're wrong. This is a sticky icky, but it can be a big compassion moment in a relationship.

11. Sharing your own story can bridge a gap and connect you with your partner in his time of need.

12. Be truthful: Honesty equals compassion.

13. Little things do matter! Simple gestures, like hand-picked flowers, say a lot.

14. Never, ever, ever say "I understand." Chances are, you don't completely. Instead, say, "Tell me more about how you're feeling."

15. Stop prying. If your partner doesn't want to talk, then give them space.

16. Mind the gap. There may be a disparity in what you'd like to do to be compassionate and what they need.

17. Examine your motives. Are you being compassionate out of expectations of return, or because you truly care?

18. Golden rule time: Are doing this because of the adage "Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you"?

19. Take care of yourself, too. Being compassionate doesn't mean putting your needs aside.

20. Draw the line. Compassion doesn't mean over giving, or co-dependency. Compassion simply allows you to care, without throwing yourself into the heart of someone else's stuff.

21. Quit being afraid. Even though you may have the most loving, caring, compassionate heart, it doesn't mean because one jerk, or misguided relationship told you they don’t need your compassion, should stop you from trying it again.

22. Have some fun. Compassion can be such a serious subject, a little laughter might be just what you need. Think about it: Laughter is the best medicine!

23. Put yourself first, but don't be selfish enough to step aside. You already learned that being first in the compassion line helps you better help others. However, if you become bent on "Me, Me, Me," you'll lose sight of what's important.

24. Trust your instincts. If you feel that your partner, husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend is in need of some deeper compassion go for it. It feels good to be cared for without asking.

25. Try a new position. No, not sexually, but from a different emotional angle. "How you feeling?" is about as exciting as "Tonight for dinner we're having Tuna Helper... again."

26. Do research. Find others in your circle and ask them what they're doing to up the ante on the compassion factor.

27. Admit you're wrong. Swallowing your pride, seeing your screw-up, and being willing to say "I'm wrong," is one of the most compassionate things you can do.

28. Laughter can help your partner realize "It ain't so bad as it seems!"

29. One of the most compassionate things we can do is give each other space to not be coddled, held, and doted over. Some situations call for physical or emotional smothering. Others don't. Respect it and let the space be available.

30. Never forget: compassion is ever-changing. Like anything else in relationships, it's all dependent on the moment.
 

Swollen

Players Play I Coach
30 Ways To Be A More Compassionate Spouse

1. Let go of expectations and compassionately accept what happens spontaneously.

2. Stop asking, "What's wrong?" Compassion doesn’t mean something has to be wrong. Instead ask, "What do you need from me in this moment?"

3. Crappy days happen. Accept them, embrace them, and be there for your partner when they have one. Caveat alert: Make sure they actually need your compassion in that moment, otherwise you might just end up annoying them!

4. Don't get stuck in stereotypical replay. Nothing's worse than the standard, "So sorry for your loss," or "Man, that sucks." Get out of the habit of saying what you've heard a million times.

5. Ask your partner what compassion means to them. Just as you communicate about sexual desires, you should communicate about compassion: "A little to the left, please!"

6. Your needs versus theirs. This is the assumptive "compassion" rule. Just because your definition of compassion is "X", doesn't mean it's theirs.

7. No emotion required: Some people emote compassion with emotions, but others don't -- so don't feel the need to be a sobbing mess!

8. The power of touch does wonders. Touch your partner, and let him or her feel your presence without saying a word.

9. And on that note: Listen up and shut up. Oh, we humans have to have our voices heard, but being compassionate is about being there for someone else.

10. Admit you're wrong. This is a sticky icky, but it can be a big compassion moment in a relationship.

11. Sharing your own story can bridge a gap and connect you with your partner in his time of need.

12. Be truthful: Honesty equals compassion.

13. Little things do matter! Simple gestures, like hand-picked flowers, say a lot.

14. Never, ever, ever say "I understand." Chances are, you don't completely. Instead, say, "Tell me more about how you're feeling."

15. Stop prying. If your partner doesn't want to talk, then give them space.

16. Mind the gap. There may be a disparity in what you'd like to do to be compassionate and what they need.

17. Examine your motives. Are you being compassionate out of expectations of return, or because you truly care?

18. Golden rule time: Are doing this because of the adage "Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you"?

19. Take care of yourself, too. Being compassionate doesn't mean putting your needs aside.

20. Draw the line. Compassion doesn't mean over giving, or co-dependency. Compassion simply allows you to care, without throwing yourself into the heart of someone else's stuff.

21. Quit being afraid. Even though you may have the most loving, caring, compassionate heart, it doesn't mean because one jerk, or misguided relationship told you they don’t need your compassion, should stop you from trying it again.

22. Have some fun. Compassion can be such a serious subject, a little laughter might be just what you need. Think about it: Laughter is the best medicine!

23. Put yourself first, but don't be selfish enough to step aside. You already learned that being first in the compassion line helps you better help others. However, if you become bent on "Me, Me, Me," you'll lose sight of what's important.

24. Trust your instincts. If you feel that your partner, husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend is in need of some deeper compassion go for it. It feels good to be cared for without asking.

25. Try a new position. No, not sexually, but from a different emotional angle. "How you feeling?" is about as exciting as "Tonight for dinner we're having Tuna Helper... again."

26. Do research. Find others in your circle and ask them what they're doing to up the ante on the compassion factor.

27. Admit you're wrong. Swallowing your pride, seeing your screw-up, and being willing to say "I'm wrong," is one of the most compassionate things you can do.

28. Laughter can help your partner realize "It ain't so bad as it seems!"

29. One of the most compassionate things we can do is give each other space to not be coddled, held, and doted over. Some situations call for physical or emotional smothering. Others don't. Respect it and let the space be available.

30. Never forget: compassion is ever-changing. Like anything else in relationships, it's all dependent on the moment.

Ain't you resigned to be single now...
 
J

Juan Dan

Guest
might be a cultural thing as island women tend to form relationships differently
culture defined and designed by whom is the question

the bliddack mentals needs a COMPLETE do over

from here to there hafrica and everywhere

I was just making light of the fact that apparently himix women and just in general HAVE NO IDEA what it is that's making men go to other races etc
 
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