What comes to mind when you see this pic??

dollbabi

Earth Angel
I usually think man; but I can see horse...especially when she smile. lol
That too! She looks like she's in drag. Honestly, the first time i saw her i did wonder "what she was." It's sad. I was surprised that she had anything to say about Viola...

I would rather look like this anyday...

http://styleblazer.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/wenn3746978.jpg

than...

http://miaamber.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/wendy-williams-red-carpet-not-cute.jpg?w=450

Yuck.

Ok back to the thread topic...
 
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Taj

Loyalty to Loyalty
Hmmm..I'm undecided if this is really that trivial...even say it was a special occasion, aren't you still teaching the child that straight is the only way to go when it really matters?

1st time I got a press & curl was for my aunt's wedding..I remember looking in the mirror and being stunned at how long my hair was after the heat killed the kinks..then after it was curled being in the mirror memorized by the way it bounced and swayed. I was sooo mad the day after the wedding when my mom had my sis braid my hair back up cause I wanted to go to school like that. My hair only got pressed for special occasions for years after that but the mindset that gave me is that my natural kinks were for everyday wear but when it was time to turn me into a pretty princess, the straightening comb came out.

Might seem dramatic; but, I think its worth looking deeper into all the subtle ways we send messages to our lil girls that will have lasting effects on how they see themselves and the world.
I saw that point and dismissed it maybe because I know so many ppl whose self worth and attitude to their hair was unaffected by 'special occasion pressing'.

I even don't agree with the pressing being the breeding ground for the future decision to relax but many will perceive it as 'the gateway'.

I just see it differently, not that I can't acknowledge certain pov's I just disagree with them
 
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BacchanalDiva

Registered User
Well that's where people will interpret the image differently. I never had that mindset because that was not my experience. I got my hair pressed 1 time as a child. I was about 7 or 8 and I was irritated by the process and I really didn't care what my hair looked like. I look at the photos from that day and my hair was still thick and poofy.

My hair got relaxed for the first time when I was 9 and then the second time when I was 12 and continued from there. My aunt was a hairdresser and she changed her hair from relaxed to buzz cut and natural to whatever she wanted when the mood hit her. So I never attached much meaning or internalized anything when it came to hair. I always felt like people change their hair whenever, no big deal. Plus my family did not instill in me that your hair have to be a certain way to be pretty.

I stopped relaxing my hair because I wanted to get away from the damage of a relaxer. I wanted to have versatility and I have that with my natural hair. I can be straight if I want and I can rock my fro if I want.
Understood. I can say you were lucky because I had to deal with always being different because i came from a family that is very anti relaxing little girl's hair and felt that it should it always be braided up -that meant my 1st relaxer came at 18. That should have been a good thing but I was always the only black girl so from even before middle school all the white girls were brushing and primping in the bathroom mirror while I passed by w/ my head full of canerow. Thank god for cheerleading in HS cause that's the only reason I got to wear my hair in one or two pony tails..then again if I'd been getting pressed and permed all along I probably wouldnt have had the long healthy ponies.

Knowing all of that and having a lil girl now makes me think carefully about both the messages I send and how the decisions I make for her will make her feel out in the world tho. I've found it helps to be brutally honest about mindset.
 

BacchanalDiva

Registered User
That mindset is exactly what would drive that horse Wendy Williams to say that Viola from The Help didn't look fit for the runway with her natural look for the Oscars.
:kicks that is so exactly what she looks like. And speaking of bad hair, can't believe her wigs/weaves are so expensive when they look so bad.
 

ladyrastafari

Notchilous
I saw that point and dismissed it maybe because I know so many ppl whose self worth and attitude to their hair was unaffected by 'special occasion pressing'.

I even don't agree with the pressing being the breeding ground for the future decision to relax but many will perceive it as 'the gateway'.

I just see it differently, not that I can't acknowledge certain pov's I just disagree with them

fair enough..... i have a lot of friends who maintained natural hair and didnt do the relaxer thing.. as well as some friends as soon as they see new growth they speed to the hairdresser like the world is about to end.. i've seen people who hated their own hair because they had it instilled in them that their natural black hair needed to be put into a form that was easy to maintain in order for it to be "pretty"..

i'm glad that my mother assumed the haircare duties of my bestie so that she never focused on her hair like that, and was taught how to take care of it and be versatile wtih the style.. and to this day she still has lovely thick (i mean so thick that you could only wash one side at a time) hair..that she maintains... she doesnt wear her hair in that "out" (eric benet)type of style that i hate but neither do i cos i find that just looks unkempt most times plus to me, the elements can wreak havoc on your hair as well.. but yea i get what you're saying..
 

TC

Steuuuupssss!
to address, the bolded, really and truly this is an erroneous statement, this implies, quite wrongfully i might add, that i have never ever had to take care of somebody whose hair had a degree of curl greater than my own.. and that's absolutely NOT true and quite facetious on top of that... You think everybody i know have soft hair??? umm no.. sorry to burst that bubble.. I have personally maintained those types of hair on an everyday-for-school basis for friends daughters, sisters, relatives and neighbors children whose mothers couldn't do it for some reason or the other.. My best friends mother died when we were 10 or 11 and as a result she came to my home every sunday to have her hair washed and combed for school by my mother and i witnessed the way that my mother took care of her hair and to this DATE, my friend's hair is still natural and well taken care of...

the next comment about "too young for straight hair"... i think the comment was intended to mean that that child seemed a bit young to be subjected to all that extra heat and possible burns from that hot comb.. a sentiment voiced by someone older that i asked about that pic just last night... i dont think she was implying that straight hair was earned by a certain age BUT just as we on that topic, who are we trying to fool.. NUFF little girls get their hair canerowed when they younger and then as they get older their mothers consent to let them get their hair relaxed so just what the hell is so wrong with that statement when it is TRUE?? aint that what goes on every day all over the place.. lil lisa get her hair in box plaits, or canerows or whatever, all natural then lisa getting ready to go in secondary school and mummy say she could get a relaxer.. hell in some homes she getting dat relaxer while she still in primary school.. and then the days of hair gel begin... slick like rick going to school... so really?? why all the pretense as though this is unheard of..

my cousin's daughter has african hair and she used to cry when getting her hair done.. long tears... you think we didnt find ways to soften the hair by moisturizing it and using proper techniques to get her hair combed with minimum tears to her?? come nah man.. you think it dont have indian parents who have dougla children who hair more on the african side and they don't damn well know how to comb them chirren hair?? if you know how to comb hair, you know how to comb hair..

Not on the computer so cannot highlight the parts of your point that I want to address directly. The first sentence you write here I said YOU cannot personally, plain talk,so what are you talking about it implies you never had to care a coarser hair. I am talking of the looser curl hair pon your head and Mrs Vegas head. So I maintain that even if you have empathised with others, you still cannot personally identify. Just to stretch the point a bit I will include that not even Minx with her straight hair and having a daughter with curly hair can personally identify. Personally identifying and empathising are two completely different things.

And the too young for straight hair business, again, implying personal opinion/cultural understanding on somebody elses pikney... sounds like people think that straight hair is some coming of age business.

Very interesting discussion indeed.
 

ladyrastafari

Notchilous
Not on the computer so cannot highlight the parts of your point that I want to address directly. The first sentence you write here I said YOU cannot personally, plain talk,so what are you talking about it implies you never had to care a coarser hair. I am talking of the looser curl hair pon your head and Mrs Vegas head. So I maintain that even if you have empathised with others, you still cannot personally identify. Just to stretch the point a bit I will include that not even Minx with her straight hair and having a daughter with curly hair can personally identify. Personally identifying and empathising are two completely different things.

And the too young for straight hair business, again, implying personal opinion/cultural understanding on somebody elses pikney... sounds like people think that straight hair is some coming of age business.

Very interesting discussion indeed.

yea and you are right, i dont have coarse hair so i can't identify with HAVING coarse hair, but i have had to comb other people's hair so i CAN identify with HAIRCARE and MAINTENANCE for coarse hair, especially on a DAY TO DAY/Weekly basis.. soooooo that's that...

as for the other too young for straight hair issue.. drunk or sober mind your business... plenty BLACK mothers aunties, tantie nennen, feel the exact same way and think of little chirren with plaits as childish and relaxing or having straight hair especialy combed in certain ways as "big woman hairstyle" so is dem SAME black women who putting de age limit on straight hairstyle.... if people didn't clearly delineate what is considered child hairstyle and big woman hairstyle then peopel wouldnt have their panties in a bunch over willow smith hairstyle as dat is jada chile and she cud do what she want wid she chile hair..
 

Minxy

New member
Minx with her straight hair and having a daughter with curly hair can personally identify. Personally identifying and empathising are two completely different things.
mine is curly, hers is kinky, but i agree and im not trying to identify with dealing with coarse hair :no2:...my baby hair is very manageable, a lil detangler, leave in conditioner and water does just fine lol
 

ladyrastafari

Notchilous
but pause for a cause eh... did i or dollbabi at any point say we know what it is to have coarse hair? or people just feel cos we dont have coarse hair then we shouldnt say anything? then that's like us telling peopel who now going natural to shaddup cos we've been natural for the majority of our lives so jump off the "just got put on" train!

and how all this come about from asking people what comes to mind when YOU see this pic??
 

Shabeel

Registered User
shabeel. why u had a ribbon?
because it's tradition

I *think* it's a blue ribbon for a boy and a red ribbon for a girl, but I'm not %100 sure. I'm gonna have to ask mom.

As soon as baby's hair starts to grow it gets tied up in a ribbon. Then, when the baby is one year old, the lock is cut off and a tray is presented to the child with various objects on it. It's said that whatever you chose at that moment will determine what your life will be like.

I chose the glass, then the pen and finally, after much coaxing from my relatives, money.
 

LIONESS onda RISE

Registered User
because it's tradition

I *think* it's a blue ribbon for a boy and a red ribbon for a girl, but I'm not %100 sure. I'm gonna have to ask mom.

As soon as baby's hair starts to grow it gets tied up in a ribbon. Then, when the baby is one year old, the lock is cut off and a tray is presented to the child with various objects on it. It's said that whatever you chose at that moment will determine what your life will be like.

I chose the glass, then the pen and finally, after much coaxing from my relatives, money.
wow!! nice info!
 

ladyrastafari

Notchilous
because it's tradition

I *think* it's a blue ribbon for a boy and a red ribbon for a girl, but I'm not %100 sure. I'm gonna have to ask mom.

As soon as baby's hair starts to grow it gets tied up in a ribbon. Then, when the baby is one year old, the lock is cut off and a tray is presented to the child with various objects on it. It's said that whatever you chose at that moment will determine what your life will be like.

I chose the glass, then the pen and finally, after much coaxing from my relatives, money.
hmm very interesting.. so what do those things mean.. glass, pen? im curious
 

Shabeel

Registered User
I think the glass is you're gonna love drinking and things like that.

The pen is you're gonna live off writing or something creative like that.

I confirmed with my mom that my ribbon was blue. It might be somewhere around the house, along with a dried up piece of the umbilical chord.
 
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Pebbles362436

Guest
people have so many different views on this crap...people tell me,

don't flat iron ur daughters hair, u'll ruin it
flat iron it, there's nothing wrong with that!
Use grease
Don't use grease!

i tell u :headbang:...then when i got her hair blown out and didn't know how to wrap it, they watch me like, U DON'T KNOW HOW TO WRAP HAIR! . ...wtf do i kno bout that shit...stewps
Well I'm sure I'm worst than you because I don't have a clue how to wrap hair either.lol :ph34r: I don't tie up my head or daughter's head like no soca baptise to go to bed. Another obsessive complusive 20page thread on imix about hair again. SMH
 

TC

Steuuuupssss!
Well I'm sure I'm worst than you because I don't have a clue how to wrap hair either.lol :ph34r: I don't tie up my head or daughter's head like no soca baptise to go to bed. Another obsessive complusive 20page thread on imix about hair again. SMH
Steups. It will never end, not on Imix not anywhere!

When people see my the first remark is usually "why you have on that thing/weave on your head, why you press/ straighten blow out if I had such good hair like yours I wouldna bla bla bla"
Steups, I've been known to say to people to go pitch deh pickey ed skUunt! Is my hair and I'll do what I damn well please with it!
 

mz_JazE

Southern Belle
Steups. It will never end, not on Imix not anywhere!

When people see my the first remark is usually "why you have on that thing/weave on your head, why you press/ straighten blow out if I had such good hair like yours I wouldna bla bla bla"
Steups, I've been known to say to people to go pitch deh pickey ed skUunt! Is my hair and I'll do what I damn well please with it!
Sounds like my co-worker, who can't see why I don't get my hair pressed out bi-weekly. Just because she likes her hair a certain way (straight, no body or nothing), doesn't mean I have to go with that whole mentality.
 

ladyrastafari

Notchilous
Sounds like my co-worker, who can't see why I don't get my hair pressed out bi-weekly. Just because she likes her hair a certain way (straight, no body or nothing), doesn't mean I have to go with that whole mentality.

that's the other side of the coin.. my coworker always asking me to put body in my hair and i keep telling her, i dont like that pouffy Patti Labelle look.. she bugs me to no end..
 
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