Why is Bullying a Big Issue Now Ever Since Gay Kids Have Committed Suicide

ladyrastafari

Notchilous
and wiping out bullying in the school wouldnt stop my kid from contemplating suicide if he's that psychologically desolate.... american children are shielded and protected from everything at a rate that is alarming, and sooner or later, it will catch up to them... i quit a tutoring job once because they kept pressuring me to say at EVERY step of the way "geeee you're doing GREAT.. wow you are doing SOOOO WONDERFUL! YAY".. i was like ? wtf.. i expect you at 8th grade to know your 2 times tables so i cannot in good faith be cheerleading you to do things that you should know how to do so i resisted as i wanted to give out kudos when they had mastered a step that was giving them trouble rather than at EVERY step in the way cos it felt fake to me... but they were pressuring me so much i say man fck it.. and left.. cos i cant understand why i should do all the work for the kid and as soon as he talk about it's so hard.. i should rush in with the pom poms... and a lot of them once you gave them some time, they would figure it out.... granted not every child learns at the same pace, but how are you even IN the 8th grade if you dont even know the fundamentals.... that shouldnt even be possible! so yea, i think the majority of kids these days will be unable to hang in the real world in a few years..
 

LB

Peace Love n Pretty Tings
Once upon a time the world was such a cruel place that most societies had no regard for human life much less animal life, the environment etc. Childhood didn't really exist, ppl didn't have much empathy for those less fortunate than themselves -true survival of the fittest. We've come a long way right? I'm sure many ppl from that era if alive today would say things were just fine and ppl these days need to toughen up. Just because you came out of your childhood years unscathed doesn't mean ppl should stop trying to make the world a kinder, safer better place. Every time the spotlight is shone on a negative/harmful behavior/practice and that behavior/practice is marginalized and penalized the world becomes a better, safer place. You might have kids one day and you know how old ppl say "yuh make d chile but yuh doh make its mind"...you can raise/teach the child however/whatever but you can't predict what the child's personality is like..so your kid at some point might be the lil punk that cries for everything, won't stand up for itself, dreads going to school, has poor grades and maybe even contemplates suicide because of bullying.

well said
 

Alpha Unit

Insurgent
exactly. bullies are mentally ill kids, who have issues so they prey on the well adjusted kids who dont need to behave like savages. And telling victims to "man up" is why you have tragedies like Columbine. there will be no end until bullies learn their behavior is not acceptable nor normal behavior. anybody who encourages that and think that is normal socialization needs their head checked. bullies are cowards not...not strong. cowards who hide behind aggression.
Many are not even close to being mentally ill. They simply haven't been trained correctly. And if you cowering in fear from a bully rather than thinking of ways to manage or avoid the situation or at minimum have thoughts of how to stand up for yourself, you can't possibly be that well adjusted either. I don't think anyone should be telling any child to "man up" but at the same time I see nothing wrong in urging and showing a child how to stand up for themselves. Hinting at or directly saying that shouldn't lead to children shooting up anywhere. If that is the childs first thought to such suggestions then their parents failed them along the way. And you are right bullies are usually cowards which is all the more reason why, if parents bothered with arming their children with the correct skills they'd be less likely to fall victim to one.
 

ladyrastafari

Notchilous
Only because more information is available to them through the internet. If in my time we had access to the same info I sure a few schools get bombed long time and far more people get shoot up. But it wouldn't be random like these days it would be targeted because back then we were actively socializing and not chatting, skyping, bbming and texting. These generations of children who were teenagers from around the turn of the millennium and coming forward completely suck at socializing. And that is why they resort to these kinds of stupid passive aggressive attempts to ressolve their feeling of low self esteem.

As a yute man I was small and nuff people try dat bully shit and get dey ass turn back. I lose fights yeah, but ah show dem it wasn goin dong de way they planned and we would have to scrap every single time they come near me. Soon enough some ah dem same fockaz decide is better we be friends dan enemies. I don't blame only social media doh because is a sign of the times. Parents have to be proactive about getting their kids into social situations. Easiest way is to make them play sports of some kind. My 7 year old love his videogames and yet he will never choose them over the opportunity to go a swimming lesson, soccer practice or Tae Kwon Do. I have friends with children the same age and you can already see the lazyness and obsession with the games starting to take hold. Parents have to do better by their children and this thing will become much less of a hinderance to children's advancement than it seems to be these days.
exactly... i see the other day this lil child i know tell me come let's play a game of soccer.. i say okay.. he pick up the wii.. iw as like.. uimm no we going outside.. he was like :confused in the backyard?? i was like where do you think you're going to play? in here? i couldnt believe it... i had to ask his mother... umm does he get exercise, she was like he dont like to do this, he dont like to do that.. i say girl better you than me... when he get fat then what? you need to turn off the tv and them things for a few hours on the weekends and let them boys run up and down in the yard and be kids.. this videogame, television, ipad, computer, circle.. is crazy.. i remember when i cleaned on teh weekends, all man jack had to go outside and find somethign to do.. i dont care if you swing in a hammock the entire time you will get some fresh air..
 

BacchanalDiva

Registered User
Only because more information is available to them through the internet. If in my time we had access to the same info I sure a few schools get bombed long time and far more people get shoot up. But it wouldn't be random like these days it would be targeted because back then we were actively socializing and not chatting, skyping, bbming and texting. These generations of children who were teenagers from around the turn of the millennium and coming forward completely suck at socializing. And that is why they resort to these kinds of stupid passive aggressive attempts to ressolve their feeling of low self esteem.

As a yute man I was small and nuff people try dat bully shit and get dey ass turn back. I lose fights yeah, but ah show dem it wasn goin dong de way they planned and we would have to scrap every single time they come near me. Soon enough some ah dem same fockaz decide is better we be friends dan enemies. I don't blame only social media doh because is a sign of the times. Parents have to be proactive about getting their kids into social situations. Easiest way is to make them play sports of some kind. My 7 year old love his videogames and yet he will never choose them over the opportunity to go a swimming lesson, soccer practice or Tae Kwon Do. I have friends with children the same age and you can already see the lazyness and obsession with the games starting to take hold. Parents have to do better by their children and this thing will become much less of a hinderance to children's advancement than it seems to be these days.
Agree w/ everything you said but skeptical if the bolded will help. Don't get me wrong, you're right that kids should be placed in those sorts of activities and the younger the better. I've seen my 4yr old mature socially as well as get better at following directions and attention span from the time I started throwing her in stuff at 2yrs. But being realistic, as they get older, they will still communicate w/ friends in the same ways..what happens when they get too old for parents to arrange play dates? If the trend is to lay in bed and text/chat etc why wouldn't they do the same even if they do get out for soccer practice etc? While they may be more active than many of their peers how does being involved in scheduled activities as individuals solve a problem that's about so much more than them? This is a problem that has to be addressed on a larger scale than the individual child.
 

ladyrastafari

Notchilous
Many are not even close to being mentally ill. They simply haven't been trained correctly. And if you cowering in fear from a bully rather than thinking of ways to manage or avoid the situation or at minimum have thoughts of how to stand up for yourself, you can't possibly be that well adjusted either. I don't think anyone should be telling any child to "man up" but at the same time I see nothing wrong in urging and showing a child how to stand up for themselves. Hinting at or directly saying that shouldn't lead to children shooting up anywhere. If that is the childs first thought to such suggestions then their parents failed them along the way. And you are right bullies are usually cowards which is all the more reason why, if parents bothered with arming their children with the correct skills they'd be less likely to fall victim to one.
you are so right.. north american society seems to want to take away the stimulus altogether rather than teaching people how to cope.. for example.. they find bake sales, which have been around probably since Jesus was 12 going to the temple.... contributing to obesity.. so what do they do.. instead of teaching kids to make healthier choices or having the bake sales have healthier options, they decide to BAN bake sales in or near schools or something and its like? :confused what? if these kids are never taught moderation and how to learn to delay gratification you really think that healtier food or banning bake sales is going to keep them from getting obese??? they eat eat eat cos its there...
 

ladyrastafari

Notchilous
Agree w/ everything you said but skeptical if the bolded will help. Don't get me wrong, you're right that kids should be placed in those sorts of activities and the younger the better. I've seen my 4yr old mature socially as well as get better at following directions and attention span from the time I started throwing her in stuff at 2yrs. But being realistic, as they get older, they will still communicate w/ friends in the same ways..what happens when they get too old for parents to arrange play dates? If the trend is to lay in bed and text/chat etc why wouldn't they do the same even if they do get out for soccer practice etc? While they may be more active than many of their peers how does being involved in scheduled activities as individuals solve a problem that's about so much more than them? This is a problem that has to be addressed on a larger scale than the individual child.
if kids are more involved in other activities. then less time to think of bullshit to do to other kids.. to me, the bullies always had plenty time on their hands..... kids who are vulnerable to peer pressure get swept up in these things...
 

BacchanalDiva

Registered User
you are so right.. north american society seems to want to take away the stimulus altogether rather than teaching people how to cope.. for example.. they find bake sales, which have been around probably since Jesus was 12 going to the temple.... contributing to obesity.. so what do they do.. instead of teaching kids to make healthier choices or having the bake sales have healthier options, they decide to BAN bake sales in or near schools or something and its like? :confused what? if these kids are never taught moderation and how to learn to delay gratification you really think that healtier food or banning bake sales is going to keep them from getting obese??? they eat eat eat cos its there...
:kicks stopping the bake sale practice is not to take away the temptation...its because having bake sales is contrary to the way that ppl are now teaching their kids to eat. Many homes don't do those sorts of sweets at all anymore..sometimes its necessary to go extreme to unteach, the idea is for kids to think of other things when they think of the word "treat" or "dessert". And anyway, the amt of kids that have nut/gluten etc allergies these days, many schools don't allow those things at all and I doubt there would be much profit in a bake sale with nothing but organic, nut free, gluten less, sugar less cupcakes lol
 

BacchanalDiva

Registered User
if kids are more involved in other activities. then less time to think of bullshit to do to other kids.. to me, the bullies always had plenty time on their hands..... kids who are vulnerable to peer pressure get swept up in these things...
hmmm, I dunno. Just last fall friend of mine's daughter got in a whole big trouble with some other girls for a bullying episode on FB...whole thing involved girls she played soccer w/ and some boy from school that she confronted the girl about at soccer practice then incident blew up on FB...girl's mother took it to the school and youth officer (police) got involved...friend's daughter got suspended and had to go to court. See what I'm saying..she's an athletic girl, great student, involved in a ton of stuff yet getting caught up in the same nonsense.
 

Alpha Unit

Insurgent
Agree w/ everything you said but skeptical if the bolded will help. Don't get me wrong, you're right that kids should be placed in those sorts of activities and the younger the better. I've seen my 4yr old mature socially as well as get better at following directions and attention span from the time I started throwing her in stuff at 2yrs. But being realistic, as they get older, they will still communicate w/ friends in the same ways..what happens when they get too old for parents to arrange play dates? If the trend is to lay in bed and text/chat etc why wouldn't they do the same even if they do get out for soccer practice etc? While they may be more active than many of their peers how does being involved in scheduled activities as individuals solve a problem that's about so much more than them? This is a problem that has to be addressed on a larger scale than the individual child.
If you are raised in a social environment it will stay with you. Where I grow up I was always outside, always playing and doing things with friends. When I got here the first semi warm day I told my mom I going by the basketball courts. As luck would have it the closest courts were in Vandeveer so mammy say not a chance buddy. So guess what, I make friend with the children in the building and we started playing in a short street with a mobile hoop. Now granted all children aren't the same but if your child accustom to making friends and playing they will simply do it. Everything you do as a child is training for the future and how you train is how you will be as you grow older. Humans hardly ever make complete 180 turns. When that occurse 9/10 they are rebelling than following their true desires. The only other reasonable reason they would do that is if they are forced into specific activities and just grow tired of it so when given the chice they turn away. I am not saying they will never engage in what is current but they will be less likely to become obsessed with it. I give my son 2 hours on any given weekend day to play videogames. If I feel lenient he might get an extra 30 - 60 mins. After that don't come back and ask. Will he play them when older, yeah I sure he will. But is he likely to be like some ah these imps standing in line midnight to get a game then playing til sun come up, missing work/ school in order to play? As of right now I can't see that happening.
 

Yankee Doodle

Weakness fuh Sweetness
you are so right.. north american society seems to want to take away the stimulus altogether rather than teaching people how to cope.. for example.. they find bake sales, which have been around probably since Jesus was 12 going to the temple.... contributing to obesity.. so what do they do.. instead of teaching kids to make healthier choices or having the bake sales have healthier options, they decide to BAN bake sales in or near schools or something and its like? :confused what? if these kids are never taught moderation and how to learn to delay gratification you really think that healtier food or banning bake sales is going to keep them from getting obese??? they eat eat eat cos its there...
It's called "avoidance" and lack of responsibility. From generation to generation responsibility declines while entitlement and avoidance rises. It's a sad state of affairs.
 

Alpha Unit

Insurgent
hmmm, I dunno. Just last fall friend of mine's daughter got in a whole big trouble with some other girls for a bullying episode on FB...whole thing involved girls she played soccer w/ and some boy from school that she confronted the girl about at soccer practice then incident blew up on FB...girl's mother took it to the school and youth officer (police) got involved...friend's daughter got suspended and had to go to court. See what I'm saying..she's an athletic girl, great student, involved in a ton of stuff yet getting caught up in the same nonsense.
Parents have to work within the times as well and some might say is too much but best believe I would be monitoring facebook and any other media they keep accounts in. Social media has put children in situations they don't have the savvy to properly manage and parents have to be hip to these things in order to make their children understand how to and how not to use these things. Also these days because of social media things can drag on and morph into monsters without much input. Did your friend know about the confrontation before it hit FB? If yes she was supposed to make sure it ended exactly where it occured. I admit is easier said than done but as parents who in some capacity have been part of the technological developments in socializing we have to be prepared to hepl them manage that as well. If she didn't know, well I feel bad for she becase that is pressha.
 

BacchanalDiva

Registered User
Parents have to work within the times as well and some might say is too much but best believe I would be monitoring facebook and any other media they keep accounts in. Social media has put children in situations they don't have the savvy to properly manage and parents have to be hip to these things in order to make their children understand how to and how not to use these things. Also these days because of social media things can drag on and morph into monsters without much input. Did your friend know about the confrontation before it hit FB? If yes she was supposed to make sure it ended exactly where it occured. I admit is easier said than done but as parents who in some capacity have been part of the technological developments in socializing we have to be prepared to hepl them manage that as well. If she didn't know, well I feel bad for she becase that is pressha.
Nope she didn't' know. She knew who the boy in question was and that her daughter had a serious crush and whatever flirtation was going on between then. She didn't' come to the mother about and jealousy or anything w/ the other girl and she didn't' tell her about the incident at practice. That also tells me that no matter how close, kids will choose what they tell you. She's on her daughter's FB, heck I'm even on the daughter's FB but neither of us was on to see this thing spiral out of control and her daughter + friends cussing and threatening. Obviously the daughter going thru her teenage stuff but yea, social media makes what back in the day was trivial take on a whole new life.
 

Alpha Unit

Insurgent
Nope she didn't' know. She knew who the boy in question was and that her daughter had a serious crush and whatever flirtation was going on between then. She didn't' come to the mother about and jealousy or anything w/ the other girl and she didn't' tell her about the incident at practice. That also tells me that no matter how close, kids will choose what they tell you. She's on her daughter's FB, heck I'm even on the daughter's FB but neither of us was on to see this thing spiral out of control and her daughter + friends cussing and threatening. Obviously the daughter going thru her teenage stuff but yea, social media makes what back in the day was trivial take on a whole new life.
All humans choose what to and what not to reveal and teenagers even worse. I feel bad for your friend tho. If is me dat fb acount getting deactivated for a few months as punishment. Cussin and threathening?!! I would want to cut she ass jess fuh bein stupid enough to make threats let alone doing it across social media where any and everyone can see it.
 

NikkiGiovanni

Warrior Queen
so some a unno would rather dream and prepare for an idealistic bully-free world instead of arm yourself with the coping skills for the current realistic world that is full of bullies?

hmmmm alright, i guess Lala Land is always better than the real world
 

femmeayitienne

***//\\***
Nope she didn't' know. She knew who the boy in question was and that her daughter had a serious crush and whatever flirtation was going on between then. She didn't' come to the mother about and jealousy or anything w/ the other girl and she didn't' tell her about the incident at practice. That also tells me that no matter how close, kids will choose what they tell you. She's on her daughter's FB, heck I'm even on the daughter's FB but neither of us was on to see this thing spiral out of control and her daughter + friends cussing and threatening. Obviously the daughter going thru her teenage stuff but yea, social media makes what back in the day was trivial take on a whole new life.
that is the damn truth
 

Lucianite

Registered User
I think bullying is different from what we are used to know...

its like bullying on steroids - the ganme has changed - kids are meaner, nastier , more vicious and the consquence worse than ever with kids pulling "Columbine" on a regular basis...

and yes , the media too - once the media gets a hold of a story andthe talk shows - everything gets blown up...


At the end of the day , bullying is wrong - as an adult I'm not proud of partaking in "bullying"as a kid

I;m tempted to agree with LR and others that say just suck it up - so is life , kids need more coping skills. I agree with all that. However, in this current climate of more guns & violence its a bigger problem than what we are used to.
 
J

Juan Dan

Guest
I think bullying is different from what we are used to know...

its like bullying on steroids - the ganme has changed - kids are meaner, nastier , more vicious and the consquence worse than ever with kids pulling "Columbine" on a regular basis...

and yes , the media too - once the media gets a hold of a story andthe talk shows - everything gets blown up...


At the end of the day , bullying is wrong - as an adult I'm not proud of partaking in "bullying"as a kid

I;m tempted to agree with LR and others that say just suck it up - so is life , kids need more coping skills. I agree with all that. However, in this current climate of more guns & violence its a bigger problem than what we are used to.
why did you bully other kids?
 

Hello BKLYN

Searching For Answers
I think bullying is different from what we are used to know...

its like bullying on steroids - the ganme has changed - kids are meaner, nastier , more vicious and the consquence worse than ever with kids pulling "Columbine" on a regular basis...

and yes , the media too - once the media gets a hold of a story andthe talk shows - everything gets blown up...


At the end of the day , bullying is wrong - as an adult I'm not proud of partaking in "bullying"as a kid

I;m tempted to agree with LR and others that say just suck it up - so is life , kids need more coping skills. I agree with all that. However, in this current climate of more guns & violence its a bigger problem than what we are used to.
while i agree kids need better social skills today, it does not mean attention needs to be diverted away from bullying and efforts to stop it need to cease... Just because its something that has always been occuring does not mean it needs to continue.
 

Lucianite

Registered User
why did you bully other kids?

Most people bully as part of a crowd or clique - pick on somone "perceived" as weaker..... don't get it twisted that I was big bully - i just remember being part of crowd at certain time tht did things to people i would not now do....

I can think of situuations too where an older kid in the school yard bullied me -
 
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